Getting Old In Sweden

Hi, it's me Mark

I know Sue usually does this because she can spell and type with more than one finger but a funny thing happened to me on the way to the shower, at least Sue laughed until she cried.

Now we British are very reserved and when we have a shower we like a little privacy, a cubical to ourselves where we can hang up our clothes and fold our underpants (that might just be me !).

But in Scandinavian countries they are far more laid back and a typical shower is a room with some benches and hooks one end and a tiled area the other end with some shower heads sticking out of the ceiling, I found this out early on in Denmark one morning when went for a quiet shower only to to find myself cheek by jowl with about twenty Germans, it was like a prison shower scene from a film, if you dropped your soap you didn't bend down and pick it up, you just hoped one of them didn't slip on it leading to a domino effect and half a dozen middle aged men sliding around on the floor.
Anyway back to Sweden and getting old. Now some of you probably think I should have started to get a hint of this happening from my greying , receeding hair, failing eye sight and knees that sound like a creaking bed spring but in my mind I was still young, until now.
Sue and I went to have a shower which was situated in the main marina building, as you went through the glazed front doors the mens showers were to the left ,then the ladies ,the laundry, toilets, office and notice board. As we went through the front door I could see through the open door to the mens showers there was a very attractive young lady who had obviously just got out of the shower with a towel round her sitting on the bench, opposite her a was young lad fully dressed.
I dithered around outside for a while but then decided if I went in she would probably leave.
I put my bag next to her on the bench and got out my towel then my Radox pine fresh shower gel I started to remove my shoes and was starting to panic when she turned and said something to me in Swedish, I did my usual and said "sorry i'm English" (why do I apologise ) she quickly changed to English and asked if I minded her being there, at this point I should have said one of two things A/ something laddish like " I dont mind if you dont mind"
B/ something man of the worldish like "of course I dont mind" like it happened all the time. Instead I said in a very quiet voice and I quote " I would feel more comfortable if you weren't here" . Where did that come from ? When did I become my father ?
Anyway she smiled and left and the lad went with her, they left the door wide open ( I think the Swede's believe doors are for keeping the snow out so why bother closing them when it's not snowing) but I closed it and got on with my shower.
About a minute later I heared a phone ring then the door opened and in she came still wrapped in a towel, went to her bag and anwsered her phone, I'm standing there with nothing but my Radox in my hand and she's on the phone, any minute I was expecting her to notice me, scream and run out or, my prefered option, offer to do my back. But she did neither, had Radox made me invisable ? no I could see my reflection cringing back at me from the mirror, she just didn't care.
She then turned and left, leaving the door wide open again , so now with a practically empty bottle of Radox acting as a fig leaf I had to shuffle across the room and shut the door before the Daggenham girl pipers marched past. At this point I gave up threw on my clothes and left.
The pilot book for Sweden tells you that the Swede's love thier saunas which they do mixed and naked and I had considered trying it but I now know I'm too old for naked saunas, skinny dipping and showering with nearly naked young ladies.

I'll see you all in October probably with a zimmer frame.

Mark


I would just like to add to the above that she was a very attractive young lady and I did laugh till I cried. I also think Mark was very brave to put this on the blog as afterwards he felt a complete idiot!

Sue